Ray Pepper - Part 2 of 3

Ray Pepper & Mary Elizabeth (Betty & Maude) Neely Todd Pepper

May 1978

Now The Adventure with Ray Pepper Begins

I had my first adventure with Ray when I was in the 9^th grade and my first year to live with my Mother since the divorce. Ray came to visit my Mother and I think to ask her to marry him. I met him in downtown Ft. Wayne at a hotel. We hit it off great. We bought a tabletop football game and we played it in his hotel room while waiting for my Mother to get off work as manager of Arthur Murray’s Dance Studio. I later found out Ray Pepper had very little interest in football, but I could never have known it from that afternoon. While we were on our way to his hotel room I mentioned something about that I was a fairly quiet person and never knew what to talk about unless it was some specific topic or issue. He said he was the same way and was just not good at small talk. As we were crossing the street he told me one way he tried to handle those situations was to think of a list of topics before he met with someone so that he was somewhat prepared with a list of topics in case he needed it.  I found out later that he proposed marriage to my Mother, but she turned him down during the same visit. She also told him he had to finish college and get a degree before she would even consider it – Ray was then 36 and perhaps she figured it was a safe way to put him off. Years later she told that she felt that if he did it, he was not only serious about getting an education, but also about her and his commitments. Later, she also encouraged him to get a Masters degree and he did it.

Then in 1951 the summer after my junior year at Ft. Wayne North High School, Ray wrote a letter to my Mother that he had completed his teaching degree and had a job at Westville High School in Champaign County, Ohio. With great timing he followed it up with a phone call proposing marriage based on the completion of her “assignment” to him to finish college. She stewed around, consulted her Mother who strongly urged her to marry Ray (her Mother, Mamaw had met Ray a few years earlier and felt my Mother needed a stable influence). My Mother even asked me my opinion and I said “Do It!”  - They got married in Ft. Wayne in August of 1951. My Mother being Episcopalian wanted to get married in an Episcopal church, but was refused, as she had been divorced. They “searched” around for a church and were married in a Baptist church. The marriage was later blessed in the Urbana, OH Episcopal church.

JOE TODD’S ADVENTURES WITH RAY PEPPER CONTINUE -

After Ray and my Mother married they moved to 310 Scioto St., Urbana, OH. I came along to see if I liked Urbana; otherwise, I would go to Auburn, IN to live with my Father (Joseph Robertson Todd) and his wife Beulah Heineger Todd (married 7/31/1950 in Georgia). Actually. I was really not interested in living with my Dad, as I really just wanted to be able to continue on as Cal Richard’s assistant selling Rexair Rainbow vacuum cleaners. But my Father lived in Auburn, IN about 30 miles North of Ft. Wayne where he worked for the Ft. Wayne Service Engraving Co; He was one of their leading advertising account executives. Back then, service engraving companies were the major advertising agencies.  I wanted him to let me stay in Ft. Wayne, go to the 12th grade at Ft. Wayne North and sell vacuum cleaners and just check in with him. I could not see why he wouldn’t approve of this arrangement since I had lived almost that way in a room in a private home during the 8th grade in Austin, MN and then with my Mother’s work schedule was like independent living for myself. But he would not go for it. On a recent visit to Auburn Beulah had asked me some of the places my Dad hid his booze; I showed her some of the places and sure enough there it was; I decided I didn’t need any more of that.  So while I was not really wild to live in a family situation in Urbana, that seemed the better choice – I liked Ray Pepper so I though the family situation would be doable. 

At any rate Ray and my Mother were moving to Urbana, OH and I was along for the ride and would probably go back to Indiana to live on my own. Ray owned a used 1946 Oldsmobile of some sort. He parked it out front while he shared a ride to work his summer job in a Springfield manufacturing plant as a quality control person. I got it in my mind that I would take a cruise around town to see what was up. I did not have a driver’s license. Actually, the only times I had ever driven a car were a couple of times a year or so earlier with my Dad. When I told my Mother, she just sort of looked at me and asked if I thought that was a good idea? I said yes I thought it was and walked out the door. (I believe that she was very fearful that I would go back to Indiana that evening if she took a more firm stand) I drove around Urbana for a few minutes and headed out Rt. 36 (I had no idea where I was going); drove through Mutual and into Mechanicsburg = two small villages – really didn’t see any girls to impress so I drove back to Urbana. I did all this without ever looking at the gas gauge (Good thing I didn’t run out of gas) and without a map (I didn’t subscribe to the use of maps for several years as will come out in another adventure). When I returned my Mother asked me if I parked the car in the exact same place. It was close but not the same, since someone else was partially in the original parking place on the street. She indicated I should tell Ray. The next day I did tell him. I was prepared for the normal reaction of lighting and thunder from most people and being sent back to Indiana – but that is not what happened.  He indicated he had been wondering how come the car had been moved. He asked me very slowly but calmly several serious questions regarding the consequences of my actions; what would have happened if the police had stopped me? What would have happened if I had had an accident like someone else running into me? What would have happened if I had run out of gas? He said that my driving around was not a very good idea as I would have been in big trouble if the police had stopped me without a driver license or if someone else had run into me. He indicated that if I chose to stay in Urbana “we would have to go get a learner’s permit” to start off my driving career and he would help me. He was very pleasant and let the matter drop. In a few days I decided to spend the school year in Urbana and Ray and I went up to school to enroll and later to get a learner’s permit. I noticed he took the car keys with him after that. The car really had nothing to do with my staying in Urbana – it was because Ray did not explode, but was rather off hand. He focused on the consequences of my actions by asking me the questions and then listening to me; he made a few comments also. He was direct, and nice to me while still saying how things were. He suggested a positive step forward to my driving by getting a learner’s permit instead of blowing his lid. I never took his car without permission again.

After I got my learner’s permit we went over the weekend to visit Mamaw and Trapper in New Middletown, IN (their temporary retirement home before he decided to move back to Indianapolis and back into practice). New Middletown was off in the boondocks of Southern IN. In the evening, Ray stayed with Trapper playing cards (Ray also didn’t take to playing cards). My Mother (who never learned how to drive) and Grandmother Mamaw (Elizabeth Gilmore Neely who did have a license and drove all over the place) and I went to the Harrison County fair at night. I was allowed to drive back home. It was dark and the roads were very narrow (about a lane and a half) and winding. The road was blacktopped around a telephone pole which protruded out into the road. There had been an oncoming car which I move over for and proceeded to graze the phone pole. My Mother was upset, My Grandmother gave me a worried look. When we got back I told Ray. He went out to look. The chrome strip had had a scratch on it and was loose. I don’t recall what he said – he just sort of looked at it.

I graduated in June of 1952 and received a scholarship from Dayton Power & Light which allowed me to work on the line crew for the summer and earn money to pay for my college tuition. I chose to go to the University of Dayton; I became involved in the civil rights movement and the Adlai Stevenson presidential campaign. My grades were rather mediocre. After the first semester I ran out of money and went to work for Automatic Electric Company installing telephone switching equipment at the Urbana phone company and earned enough money to enroll at Ohio State for Spring quarter of 1953.

  

During summer quarter of 1953 Ray, and I were driving home to Urbana from Ohio State University. Ray had started working on his MA.  He had driven over and I was driving home. I got very mad at some comment he made about my driving; when we got to West Jefferson I suddenly stopped the car got out. I went into a restaurant and watched Ray cruise up and down looking for me. He went on, and I hitchhiked home. I had good luck making good time back to Urbana. I walked into the living room and Ray was reading the paper; he looked up and said “I wondered where you went to - tried to look for you.” Maude was not home yet; nothing more was ever said. I knew I had done a dumb thing. I tended to be a bit impulsive sometimes back then, but I believe that the way he handled that incident helped me learn how to think things over for a few moments in terms of consequences – the way he did.

At the end of the summer quarter in 1953 my grade in English was rather poor. I had refused to do what I thought was a ridiculous assignment which consisted of doing 15 examples of library research in a number of different categories using different approaches. I told the teacher I had learned that stuff years before from my Grandfather at Indiana University and that I would do 5 examples in each of the categories but not all 15. I turned my work in and she held up my grade. I became discouraged and noted that my name was coming up in the Champaign County (Urbana) draft board and that they had stopped giving out deferments. The Korean War was still going strong and Champaign County was running out of eligible draftees. I chose the 4 years in the Navy (which ended up being 5 after I was brought into the U.S. Naval Security Group). Ray did not think that was such a hot idea but he supported me. The morning of the day he drove me to the Springfield post office to be sworn in – he wished me luck. He also had lent me his car the night before for a date.

After boot camp (October 1953) and yeoman school while I was home getting ready to go to my first assignment at the Torpedo School in Newport RI as a yeoman - I got car fever ( about March 1954. I wanted a Hudson Hornet which had a huge bore six cylinder, long stroke, high torque, and engine with a racing image.) The car salesman in Urbana had one but would not sell it to me as he said it was not in decent shape. So Ray and I went to Columbus. While he was talking with the salesman, I was checking the car out. I looked under the dash and saw a sticker that said “Kerchivel Wrecking Company, Detroit MI.” I wanted that car so bad, I never said a thing. Bought it without driving it. Several days later, had a flat tire in the alley as I was leaving for Newport - Ray had me drive his car to Newport RI.  We exchanged cars some two months later in Gettysburg.  In my mind my Hudson was the Hornet model, but in reality it had a smaller engine and was a Pacemaker model. It took me until I was in my 60s many years later while Ray was in the Champaign Nursing Home (early 1990’s) to tell him this story about the shopping experience - he laughed a great deal - he understood.

While at the Torpedo School in Newport, R.I. I was offered a chance to go to Officer Candidate School – I turned it down as I did not want a career in the Navy.  For some interesting reason, I was later approached and asked if I would be interested in joining the U.S. Naval Security Group. I received very little information about it other than it had to do with the country’s security and cryptography. It interested me.  I decided to do it then found out my service was extended from a four year enlistment to five years. It ended up being a most interesting eye opening assignment and one that became a factor in my changing my career choice from becoming a lawyer or staying on as a civilian in the NSG to becoming a psychologist working with kids with disabilities. But that is another  story.

When I got out of the Navy in 1958. I commuted from Urbana to Ohio State along with several other people for two years. Ray lent me his car once or twice a week when it was my turn to drive. When I got married to Jane Springsteen in March of 1961 I bought his old car which allowed him to get his first brand new car. Jane and I took the car on our honeymoon. One evening we drove over to Windsor, Ontario, Canada. We came out of a restaurant and there were police looking over the car. They were concerned about the small dent in the right front fender. They thought that it was from an accident in Canada that I had not reported.  Actually, the dent was from several years earlier in one of my escapades. I tried to explain this to the police pointing out the rust marks. They slowly accepted my explanation but required us to immediately drive back across the bridge to Detroit. Such was a honeymoon adventure.

More to come -