Ray Pepper - Part 1 of 3

Ray Pepper - December 1978

Ray Pepper & Joe Todd

Ray: My Friend, Step Father, Father and Hero

Ray Pepper - was my friend and had a very positive supportive influence upon me. I first met him in the 9th grade before my Mother married him and then again just before my senior year of high school when my Mother married him. I then had the opportunity to be a support to him after my Mother died and he eventually had a stroke and needed to be in a nursing home for the rest of his earthly life. I always felt Ray’s love and support – even when I did dumb and careless stuff. He never seemed to get really upset with me. On occasion he would say. “You know Skip (what my Mom called me) sometimes you are really full of it.” Or, with a smile or half smile on his face, “You are really full of sh*t” – but he never said it in a nasty way or tone – actually he said it in almost a humorous way – Anyway, I got his point and I always knew he was in my corner. Sometimes even to this day I can hear him say it to me – and it makes me smile. Actually the way he spoke to me was very similar to how Trapper (my Grandfather Neely) talked to me – and I always knew he loved me.

Let me tell you a little about who Ray Pepper was and how his experiences lent themselves toward his understanding of me.

His Father William Ortman Pepper was born 10/1885 in Sidney, Shelby County Ohio and died in about 1932 in California at age 48. Ray’s Mother was Florence Alma Norcross Pepper and was born about 1886. She was apparently unstable.  His Mother died about 1950 in Anna, Shelby County, OH age 64. Ray never spoke of his Mother only his Father.

Ray Emerson Pepper was born 6/19/1915 in Cleveland, Cuyahoga County OH. Ray lived in Cleveland until about age 10 when his parents were divorced. He then lived with his grand or great grand Mother Roe in Lima for a while (year or two) Mr. Roe was a picture on the wall; Ray never met him. Ray then left for California with his Father who was an accountant.

He lived with his Father in California until his Dad’s death in 1932. They lived in a room and mostly ate out. In fact they were eating in a restaurant when his Dad dropped over on the table dead from a stroke. At age 17 he got on a bus back to Ohio.  He then lived one year with Charles Pepper (William’s brother) for his junior year of high school but they didn’t get along at all. Ray then lived with the Ales (a teacher) family who befriended him for his senior year. The Ailes family, Mother, Father, and children were life long friends of Ray’s.

Ray died 9/20/1996 Urbana, Champaign County, OH at age 81

Education: Attended Sinclair College, Dayton,; B.A; Wittenburg University Springfield, OH B.A.; Ohio State University OH M.A.

Occupation: Before WW II Ray worked for the Civilian Conservation Corps back in California, random factory jobs in Ohio, sold peanuts in Florida, and then enlisted in the U.S. Army Air Corp 3/19/1942 while living back in Shelby, OH.  While in the Army Airforce as a part of a ground crew, he was stationed in Belgium. He received some sort of award from the Belgium government. When discharged he went back to factory jobs and a try at being a door to door salesman for Real Silk wearing apparel. Somehow I can’t imagine Ray selling door to door out of a catalogue and suitcase - keep in mind that door-to-door sales were rather common in those days.  He ended up going to college and became a teacher. Beginning in 1952 he became a teacher at Westville High School, OH and later a history teacher in Springfield, OH South high school. Later at the very end of his career he was a social worker in Dayton, OH.

How Ray Pepper met my Mother

He decided to increase his social life by taking dance lessons in Dayton, OH which is interesting since he was rather awkward on his feet. He rode a motor scooter to an Arthur Murray Dance Studio and bought some dance lessons. My Mother sold him the lessons and was his dance teacher; Ray wanted to date her; she told him he needed to go to college; eventually he began attending Sinclair College in Dayton and then graduated from Wittenberg University in Springfield, OH. She did go out with him on dates which is very interesting since from all outward appearances Ray did not meet her criteria of class and society - neither did her Father (my grandfather Trapper – Dr. Neely). When they went out on dates he would hide his motor scooter in the alley so she wouldn’t know how he had arrived. They would visit places around downtown Dayton so they could walk. Ray used to joke that dating my Mother was rather expensive since he had to buy all those dance lessons.  In the end, I believe Ray’s appeal to my Mother was that he was genuinely “real” and not a “put on” sort of fellow. 

A little bit about my background up until the time I met Ray Pepper

I was born April 24, 1934 and lived in Indianapolis, IN until I was 6. We moved to Grosse Pointe, MI where I went to the first grade. We lived in Grosse Pointe until completion of the 5th grade. Then one evening my Mother took me aside and insisted that I sit on her lap and told me she and my Dad were not getting along so well – I could see that clearly for myself. My Uncle Jack Neely (John Irving Neely 2/10/19147 - June 1963) came up to drive me down to see my grandparents in Indianapolis – Mamaw and Trapper (Elizabeth Gilmore Neely and Dr. Alonzo Solon Neely).  I had told my friends that I would be back in a few weeks. On the way down to Indianapolis Uncle Jack said to me “You know you are not coming back to Grosse Pointe – your parents are getting a divorce.” I cried for a long time. I was then told that I was going to Indiana University School in Bloomington, IN with my other Grandparents – Far and Lala (Dr. Joseph Clinton Todd, DD & PhD and Emily Robertson Todd, MA and I think PhD). That didn’t work out. I found out later when I was about 70 years old and going through some old letters to my Mother that she had refused to give them custody of me. They wanted full custody including full fiscal responsibility for me; my Father could not take me as he was having a drinking problem and was without a job at that time and my Mother although very well educated was having to start at the bottom rung of the female work force in 1945. Her first job was with some detective agency buying tickets to movie theaters around town to see if they tore the tickets up when collecting them and not keeping them whole to resell; I went with her a couple of times that summer.  She later worked her way into very responsible management jobs starting as a receptionist for Arthur Murray’s Dance Studios, then teacher, sales person, assistant manager and then manager,  and then she went on with various stores to become a widely known interior decorator, including an Ohio senator and senator. People used to fly her with them on their private planes to furniture markets around the country. But this was at the beginning in 1945. At the end of the summer I was dropped off with 3 days’ notice at Howe Military School, Howe IN. I ran away 5 times before I figured how to fade into the woodwork. At the end of the 2nd year my Mother came to get me via ShortWay Line Bus and I announced that – “no one had control or authority over me unless I gave it to them or they physically tied me up and forced me to do something” – I was not coming back to Howe. Interesting as the word got out that day, by the afternoon my name was crossed off for the “Most Improved Cadet” award. I went to live with my Father in a room in a house in Austin, MN for the 8th grade. We lived a block away from my Uncle Bill (William Dean Todd my Father’s brother) but only recall seeing him once at the beginning of the school year; I did see his kids once in a while at school. At the end of the year, my Father told me as I got on the train to go to Mamaw and Trapper’s house that I would not becoming back because he was having to sell his interest in a printing company in Austin and was leaving town. I then lived with my Mother in three different locations in Ft. Wayne, IN for the 9,10, and 11th grades. She worked very late hours first as manager of an Arthur Murray’s Dance Studio and then as she became a very successful interior decorator at a department store. She was very busy so I saw her only once in awhile.

After the 5th grade and being shipped off to Howe Military School on three days’ notice and then living with very little supervision I had become very independent minded – I had come to understand that I was in charge of me. I had after school jobs and summer jobs that provided me my own money and had very little adult supervision. By the time I was ready for the 12th grade I had long since become very independent in mind and spirit. Ray Pepper coming into my life was a God sent gift.

More to follow -