Anchor Memories

"Anchor Memories" That's the phrase used by Jason Wright to describe those experiences that stay with us for a lifetime. These are "the handful of key experiences from life that stand above" other happenings; events we remember with "laser clarity." 

What are the anchor memories in my life? As I thought about this, I went from the big experiences such as living with Uncle David, Aunt Dorothy, and the children in Germany to small ones such as a comment Gram, Mildred Browne Floyd, made on a plane ride from Chicago to Columbus (or it could have been the other way around). I don't remember how old I was; couldn't have been very old. A plane ride had to have been a big deal at that young age and at a time when plane trips weren't very common. What do I remember? Gram pointed to the clouds and said they looked like marshmallows. I think of that EVERY time I fly. For some reason this is my only vivid memory of interaction with Gram.

Back here I wrote about a small moment, but very special time with Dad. While we were skipping to the barbershop, holding hands and singing, Dad probably didn't think he was creating an anchor memory, but he was. I don't know if he even remembered the time. I don't think I ever asked him about it or told him that the memory had stayed with me all my life. 

One evening Grandma, Florence Clark Holton, and I were doing dishes at North Oak Street. I don't recall that anyone else was in the kitchen with us. I was probably in junior high, old enough to be aware of popular songs. I was singing, "Lovers by night, strangers by day." I didn't have a clue what the words meant, I just liked the song. I think this is the song on YouTube. Grandma very quietly and gently suggested that I might not want to sing that song. I asked why not. She replied something about it's not being appropriate or not a good song. I don't remember exactly what she said. I got the idea that it wasn't a good song for me to be singing. She didn't lecture, she didn't get upset. She handled it beautifully. 

As we age and tell our stories to whomever will listen, we give people clues about anchor memories. For the year that we've lived here in Kirkland, I've made at least monthly visits to a woman who's in her late 80s. She is in somewhat good health physically and is still mentally sharp. As I've gotten to know her, I've noticed she has certain stories that are important enough to her that she repeats them somewhat frequently. She has seven children; her second pregnancy resulted in twins. She and her husband never had a car; they walked everywhere or took the bus. She learned to drive when she was in her 70s because the 90+ year old friend she was caring for could no longer see well enough to drive. The two of them liked to be out and about so the friend told Barbara she needed to learn to drive. And she did - eventually passing her driving test. It's important to her to look on the bright side; and so on. 

Family and friends probably notice that Joe and I repeat certain stories. These stories are likely our anchor memories. 

What are your anchor memories? 

Are we creating special times and memories with those we love?

Read Jason Wright's article here.