Mary Elizabeth Neely Todd Pepper

Mary Elizabeth Neely Todd Pepper

April 11, 1905 - July 16, 1983

Mary Taylor Neely (Joe's Great Grandmother, Ginmaw) 

& mother Mary Elizabeth Neely Todd

ca 1936

Ray Pepper, Joe 

& Mary Elizabeth Neely Todd Pepper aka Betty & Maude

December 1978

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MARY ELIZABETH NEELY TODD PEPPER

Joe Todd’s Mother

My Mother is Mary Elizabeth Neely Todd Pepper – “Betty to her friends” born 11 April 1905 in Brownsville, TX where her Father Alonzo Solon Neely (MD and surgeon) was doing his medical residency and her Mother was Elizabeth Gilmore Neely. She died in Urbana, OH on 16 July 1983 as a result of a heart attack. She was survived by Ray Emerson Pepper her second husband and my loving stepfather (born 19 June 1915 in Cleveland, OH and died 20 September 1996 in Urbana, OH). My Mother had only one child – me. My Father’s name was Joseph Robertson Todd  (8/4/1905 to 9/25/1964).

My Mother spent her early years living in New Albany, IN where her Father had a downtown storefront medical office. In addition he was the OH (KY) River bridge doctor until one day he had to scoot himself sitting down on a single steel bridge girder out into the middle of the River and retrieve a worker with a broken leg pulling him all the way back at which time he set the man’s leg and quit the position. My Mother had one brother, John Irving Neely (2/14/1914 to 9/1983). At some point the Neely family moved to Indianapolis, IN

My Mother contracted Rheumatic fever sometime in Indianapolis while in high school. She went to recuperate down to Louisville, KY to live with one of her Mother’s sisters Francis Gilmore who was a wealthy man’s nurse in his old age. They spent part of their time in KY and in FL including traveling to Cuba. My understanding is that she never spent much sustained time with her parents after that. She attended Randolph Macon College (a girls’ college at the time) in VA for one year and then transferred to Indiana University where she met and married my Father. She graduated in 1928 with a B.A. degree with a major in French. After college graduation, my Father went to work as an account executive for Indianapolis Service Engraving Co. – a print/advertising firm.

From 1928 until the summer of 1940, my Mother and Father lived at 912 Bolton Ave. in a house they built in Irvington (Indianapolis) IN. We then moved to 618 St. Clair Ave., Grosse Pointe, MI.

While living on Bolton she was very active in the League of Women Voters and was considering a run for the IN state legislature, but moved to Grosse Pointe. While in Grosse Pointe she continued her activity in the League of Women Voters. When WW 2 got underway in Dec of 1941 she became the Air Raid Warden for our block and later became the Chairwomen for the Greater Detroit War Bond effort. She also participated in a number of other war related community activities.

In the summer of 1945 my Mother and Father got divorced and she and I moved to Indianapolis, IN – the same city that her parents (Alonzo Solon and Elizabeth Gilmore Neely – “Mamaw and Trapper” to me) lived. She got a room on the other side of Indianapolis and I lived with Mamaw and Trapper until later in that Summer, I went to Bloomington, IN with my grandparents on my father’s side, Joseph Clinton and Emily Robertson Todd - Far and Lala.

Even though she had a college degree, it was not in teaching or nursing about the only jobs that paid a decent salary that would employ women. Her degree was in French. So her first job that summer was working for a detective agency that hired her to check up on movie house employees to see if they were stealing money. Her assignment was to buy a ticket and then note whether they tore it in two when she entered or kept it whole to resell it and pocket the money. By the Autumn of 1945 my Mother had became a receptionist for Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Indianapolis. She lived in a room on Capital Ave.

I thought I was going to live with Far and Lala and they enrolled me in Indiana University Elementary School. But, at the last minute three days before the start of school that didn’t work out and I was deposited in Howe Military School for the 6th and 7th grades.. 

When I first arrived at Howe I ran away 5 times unsuccessfully and was punished by receiving 100 demerits for each time which I had to work off by walking/running around the bull ring 15’ for each demerit after school and during my “free” time. I changed my strategy by fading into the woodwork and being pleasant. The strategy worked well and many of the demerits work forgiven before the “deadline” at vacation time when they beat them off you with a drum stick one whack for each demerit left on the ledger.

I didn’t find out until I was in my fifties that it was because my Mother would not turn over legal custody to Far and Lala (who were paying all the bills and would have been responsible for me). Mamaw and Trapper could not take me because they were going to have to be responsible for Jack Neely’s son, Jackie Neely, who was four years younger than I and was difficult to handle.

Mid way through my 6th grade she became a receptionist at Arthur Murray’s Dance studio in Dayton, OH and my Mother quickly advanced to dance instructor. I spent part of a summer between the 6th and 7th grades in Dayton and lived in a room at the Drurrips’ home. I had a job for about 3 weeks as a golf course caddy. I got fired when I refused to pick a ball out of a practice hole that the fellow was standing right over. I said, “ You pick it up since you’re standing right over it!”

At the end of the 7th grade at Howe Military School I was scheduled to receive the “Most Improved Cadet” award during commencement ceremonies until I told my Mother who rode the bus to Howe to get me that I would not come back to Howe under any circumstance – I told her that unless she tied me and got somebody to put me in the trunk of their car, I would not come back and if she did all that I would start running away again. She believed me. That very afternoon word got out before commencement and my name was crossed off the list and another cadets name was penciled in.  Interestingly, it was one of my teachers, Mr. Runge who had tipped me off two years earlier that they were on to one of my planned run always who tipped me off to go to the honors list posted outside the office to see my name crossed off. I always appreciated Mr. Runge as he seemed to empathize with me. I have always felt badly that I never got back in touch to thank him for his caring.

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I went to live with my Father who had just bought into 49% ownership of a printing/office supply company in Austin, MN. We lived in a room together in someone’s house.  After school I worked in the office supply store and made deliveries and sometimes in the printing company. The workers became my close friends. In fact they tipped me off I was being paid less than minimum wage and I demand and received more.

After the 8th grade, my Father put me on a train bound for Chicago/Indianapolis to visit both sets of grandparents. I had just said goodbye to Bobby Roberts my best friend in the 8th grade. We had made plans for when I returned toward the end of summer. My Father took me aside and indicated that I would not be returning to Austin as he was selling his 49% of the company and that I must not tell anyone until the deal was complete. That was quite a shock. Later that summer I did write Bobby Roberts a long letter indicating I would not be returning. He wrote back a rather short note and said, “too bad, why didn’t you tell me before you left”.

I should have been used to it by that time.

By that time my Mother had become Assistant Manager of Arthur Murrray’s in Ft. Wayne, IN and then Manager. A couple of years later my Mother started at Wolfe and Dessauers Department Store in Ft. Wayne, IN as an interior decorator – this became her career for the rest of her life.

I spend the summer alternating between my grandparents. I arrived in Ft. Wayne, IN a day before school was to start. My Mother was out of town at a meeting, but one of her dance teacher, Miss Templton was assigned to look out after me and indicated which High School I was to register at. I arrived at Ft. Wayne North Side and the person trying to register me asked me what my career goal was and I responded, “race car driver”; she said get serious and I said, “I am – race car driver – but in the off season, I”ll work in a printing company.” She signed me up for the “General course”. That was just fine with me – during the first 3 weeks questions on social study tests given by the football coach were stupid such as “What flavor was the ice cream the girl at in the example?”  When my Mother found out, she flipped her lid and I was transferred to the “College Prep” track. It was harder unless I put some real work into it – which I did on some occasions if the topic interested me.

In the 9th grade we lived in the first floor of a house near the school on Riverside; 10 grade on the 2nd floor of a house out on Berry St. While there I encountered a older mentally retarded young man; in the grade school I had encountered Betsy Black a downs syndrome girl – both of these individuals and the way others treated them strongly influenced my career choice after I got out of the Navy. The 11th grade me moved again into an apartment building and my Mother got some of our own furniture out of storage.

During those three years my Mother and I were in Ft. Wayne, IN she was always working as I did also while going to high school. During my the 9th grade I worked after school in a children’s apparel shop and that summer sold ice creams from a cart. I then started to sell men’s and woman’s hosiery door to door. During the Summer after the 10th and 11th grades I worked in a drive in theater and tried my hand at vacuum cleaner sales - we were not close – we rarely ever had any meals together or had any activities together – I can recall only once going to Church together - - - However, it is very important to know that she was very supportive of me during some critical times. I always knew that she loved me.

This was the Joseph McCarthy era and the beginning of the “Cold War” – McCarthy, a senator from Wisconsin became famous for a short period of time finding a “Communist” around every corner until he was exposed. Not that there were not a number of communists and a few Communists, but he was very free with the accusation. He even called George C. Marshall a Communist. Marshall was Army Chief of Staff during WW2, then Secretary of State and later Secretary of Defense during the Korean War. He authored the Marshall Relief Plan to bind war torn Europe together to withstand the Soviet Union.

I was on the North Side High School varsity debate team for the 10th – 11th grades (as well as on the Urbana team for the my 12th grade). The debate topic for the first year was World Government. Sometime during the year I became “Student Chairman of the Ft. Wayne student chapter of the United World Federalists”. It’s national board of directors had many prominent people on it including a supreme court justice, William O. Douglas and W. T. Holliday, President of Standard Oil of Ohio, who was president of the UWF. 

I had approached a high school friend of mine to help me with the organization. His father called the FBI and said I was a Communist. The FBI contacted the school and my Mother, a Unitarian minister who was afraid to talk to me after that and a car deal I had talked to – the school would not let me join the Ft. Wayne North Side High School History Club that I had pushed the school to start – I had wanted it to be called the “World History Club” During this time my English teacher Mr. Dayton Mussleman took me aside in the hallway and asked “How do you feel about all this?” I said, “That’s the way it goes.” He said, I have a spot for you in the new camera club I am starting.   – they did let me join the “Camera Club”. Mr. Mussleman wanted me to be “president” but on my own I talked Nancy Perry into the position. But it was through the Camera Club I developed my interest in photography.  During all of this strife my Mother stood by me and supported me. She never flinched.  She provided support when it counted. Later in life, I could never have been cleared by the FBI to work in the U.S. Naval Security Group with a relationship to the National Security Agency and with a Top Secret security clearance, if I had been a Communist or associated with questionable people and/or activities.

When my Mother had been in Dayton, OH she sold a bunch of dance lessons to Ray Pepper. He started to date her and eventually asked her to marry him. She said he need to get a college degree (I think she was just putting him off). He did and got back in touch with her when I was in the 11th grade and re offered to marry her. I encouraged her to do it as did Mamaw. Actually, I had met him once when I was in the 9th grade when he came to visit her in Ft. Wayne. He spent the afternoon with me playing a football board game – I found out later he did not like sports very much – but he was into it with me. He also gave me hints on how to make small talk as I was never very good at it (still not). So when I found out what he was up to it sounded like a good idea to me and I really encouraged my Mother to marry him as did Mamaw.

When she married Ray Pepper I thought I could stay in Ft. Wayne and continue on at North Side High School, but my Father said if I wanted to do that I would have to move to Auburn, IN about 30 miles north of Ft. Wayne. So I moved to Urbana, OH  with my Mother and Ray for the 12th grade.

I began to call her Maude or Maudie after a stubborn mule in a movie. I told everyone in Urbana that was her real name and soon everyone was calling her that – it stuck for many years.

She went to work for the Rock Shop as an interior decorator. Her career there was very exceptional. Two of her clients were a husband/wife team of scientists working for Nestles who were developing a decaffeinated coffee as well as Bill Saxbe who was the OH attorney general and AG under Richard Nixon and then Senator. Clients often flew her on their private plane to the Chicago and S. Carolina markets. She continued at the Rock Shop In Urbana, OH until she retired (not sure what year).

My Mother liked to be part of elite, throwback to the Louisville years and lifestyle – but she couldn’t break into the elite of Urbana; she was the wife of a teacher – and considered an outsider in small town society. She tried the Urbana League of Women Voters but never really fit in and soon lost interest.  Later in life Ray and Maude became quite active in Urbana Theater activities. 

My Mother liked to have things with a flair – for guests she always had Anna Kelly the person who cleaned the house, serve dinner. My Mother would ring a bell for service, and used very fine dinner ware. Early in life she had rich auburn hair and later in life had orange/red dyed hair – she had fancy jewelry – fancy dresses. Ray Pepper always supported her, but he was himself a very plain down to earth person. They learned how to accommodate each other.

During the early 1980’s Maude and Ray became  “very old” and began to neglect essential details. It was necessary to get a financial “guardian” for them. Clyde Smith, a banker, who just lived down the street agreed to become the legal guardian. David Todd moved over to Urbana to stay with them and worked locally. Sometime after my Mother died on 16 July 1983, Ray gave his car (an American Motors station wagon) to David. Sometime later David went to CA with Carol George who later became his wife. Clyde Smith retired to FL and I became the guardian. Ray had a stoke in the early 90’s was in a nursing home and died on Sep 20th 1996 while Julia and I were serving our mission in Nassau, The Bahamas. Bill and Mary Holton (Julia’s Mom and Dad) had been keeping close with Ray and took care of the funeral and burial.

In conclusion: I loved my Mother and admired her determination and courage.

Joe Todd, March 2013