Pecan Pie & Twizzlers

This is Mom's cookbook. On the right she taped a recipe for pecan pie alongside the book's pecan pie recipe. This brings back a wonderful memory - and an example of love. 

When Joe was new to the family, we were at Mom's and Dad's for a family gathering. Joe shared a story about traveling with his Grandparents Todd. Joe was about 6 or 7. They were ordering dinner at a restaurant. The waitress enthusiastically promoted the pecan pie. Joe became fixated on having pecan pie and no dinner. His grandparents normally didn't buy dessert.  He remembers being a pest about the pie. His grandparents relented and said he could have it if he ate all his dinner. Joe cleaned his plate and he got the pie. That's where Joe stopped the story that evening. 

The next time we were at Mom's and Dad's for dinner, Mom served pecan pie for dessert. Joe was very complimentary about the pie. Dad was especially happy because he loved pecan pie. On the way home Joe related that he really didn't like pecan pie. When he told the original story to Mom and Dad, he left out the part that he was a very disappointed little boy when he discovered he didn't like pecan pie. 

Well - over the years Mom often made pecan pie for Joe. We knew it was her gift to Joe. As a grandparent, parent, and in-law, I recognize and appreciate the desire to do something special for family members, especially those who marry into the family. Joe and I talked about whether or not we should let Mom know that, while we appreciated what she was doing, she really didn't need to go to all that work for Joe. We decided not to say anything. We didn't know how to put it delicately - and we knew Dad really enjoyed having the pie. From what was said, it appeared that she was making it for Joe more often than she was making it for Dad. 

After Mom's and Dad's deaths, we've shared this story with a number of family members. When we're asking if someone really likes something, we often say, "Is this a pecan pie situation?"

In fact, we asked this not long ago when celebrating our daughter-in-law's birthday. I knew she liked red licorice. At the grocery I was faced with Red Vine and Twizzlers. I chose Red Vine. When she opened the gift, I said I couldn't remember which one she liked. She prefers Twizzlers. A lively discussion ensued about the pros and cons of the two kinds of red licorice. Evidently it's like mayonnaise - you're either a Hellmann's or Miracle Whip person - Twizzlers or Red Vine. 

Mom's gift of love to Joe was making pecan pie. 

Joe's gift of love to Dad and Mom was eating pecan pie 

and recognizing it as a gift of love.

Mom & Dad - Christmas ca 1981

Joe/Skipper Todd about 1941, age 7

 Emily & Joseph Todd - about 1939