Mothering

I enjoyed Saydi Eyre Shumway's thoughts about mothering. 

"Mothers build lives. 

"I love this quote, it’s one of my mom’s favorites:

Every mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land. She prepares a world she will not see.  -  Pope Paul VI

"And this talk about cathedrals, and the invisible woman. 

"We don’t do this work for the same reasons we do other things in life.  It is motivated by love.  And love is good at delayed gratification."

 Click here for her blog post. 

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photo: Mom, her mother Mildred Floyd & 

Dad's stepmother Florence (Toots) Holton April 1955

Beautiful Sabbath Morning

I woke up about 6 this Sabbath morning and had a feeling I should look outside. I peeked out the bedroom window and saw that the sky was magnificent. I hurried out to the balcony to take in the awesomeness. This kind of sky usually doesn't last very long. As I soaked up the beauty, I felt I was receiving a "good morning" directly from God. 

Then I went to church and was touched when one of the speakers in sacrament meeting talked about a Sabbath hymn written by Robert Baird. The first few lines are: 

When the rosy light of morning

Softly beams above the hill,

And the birds, sweet heav'nly songsters,

Ev'ry dell with music fill,

Fresh from slumber we awaken;

Sunshine chases clouds away.

Nature breathes her sweetest fragrance

On the holy Sabbath day.

Come Away to the Sunday School

Text and music: Robert B. Baird, 1855-1916

As I heard these words, I felt a nudge from the Spirit and I knew that morning awakening and beautiful sight did come from God. I am abundantly grateful - for the beauty of the earth. For Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Spirit. 

Fix What You Can Fix

Life is full of aggravations. Many of them are way beyond our control.

When we moved into our condominium, we accepted the way the refrigerator was configured. The whole top shelf was for tall containers. Only problem - the light in the middle of the top of the shelf made it very difficult to get tall containers in and out. For a year we've been wrestling drink containers around that light. 


Last week I realized I could do something about this! It took me less than 10 minutes to reconfigure the shelf. Not a huge deal - but it's nice not to have the aggravation every time we get a drink out of the refrigerator. 

Sometimes it's the small things that make us smile and remind us that some things can be fixed :)

Traveling Candlestick

This box arrived at our door last week

We are delighted that the traveling family heirloom 

& its storybook will be in our home for a while

Dad fashioned the candlestick from a piece of wood that had been twisted by a grapevine. No one is sure where Dad discovered the piece of wood. We’re also not sure exactly when Dad finished the wood and created the candlestick. Our memory is that the candlestick has been on the table by the living room window and Mom’s chair for decades. Blue candles were always either in or near the candlestick. 

When we closed the Oak Street house after Dad’s death, we had to determine who received which items in the house. The twisted candlestick was the ONLY item in the whole house that was requested by all four children and many of the grandsons. Our solution - the candlestick would circulate through the family, accompanied by a journal documenting its journey. 

Dad & Mom - December 2002

Oak Street 

picture taken December 20, 2003, the day after Dad died

Mom died February 2003

so many memories & reminders 

More about the candlestick here

Be Patient With Yourself

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." 

This was Jesus’ counsel to his disciples in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5: 48)

 We usually associate the word “perfect” with 100% and no mistakes. Being mortal, we know that’s a very tall order and one we likely can’t achieve. But when we look at the origin of the word that was translated “perfect,” Christ’s counsel seems doable.

Russell Nelson explains it this way. 

 “In Matthew 5:48, the term perfect was translated from the Greek teleios, which means “complete.” Teleios is an adjective derived from the noun telos, which means “end.” The infinitive form of the verb is teleiono, which means “to reach a distant end, to be fully developed, to consummate, or to finish.” Please note that the word does not imply “freedom from error”; it implies “achieving a distant objective.” In fact, when writers of the Greek New Testament wished to describe perfection of behavior—precision or excellence of human effort—they did not employ a form of teleios; instead, they chose different words"

In another talk, Russell Nelson said, "Be patient with yourself. Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life. Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you through that, He will make the difference." 

I'm glad to know "perfection" is possible. I'm glad to know I can continue to work on it after my journey on earth is completed. I'm thankful I don't have to do it alone. 

Music

I drafted this post back in the summer of 2011. A granddaughter and I had gone to BeadWorld in downtown Kirkland and made necklaces. 

BeadWorld played music from the 1960s. I found myself singing and remembering the words to almost all the songs even though I hadn't heard many of them in more than 45 years. I mentioned to Granddaughter that 45 years from now she could be sitting with a granddaughter when a Justin Bieber (her favorite at the time) song comes on and she'll remember every word. Then I said that's a good reason to be very careful what you listen to because it stays with you forever. "That's Grandma talk," said Granddaughter as she smiled.

Back to 2016 - When Granddaughter said, "That's Grandma talk," it brought back a memory. Grandma (Florence Holton) and I were doing the dishes at Oak Street. The song was released in July 1962 so I was ready to go into 10th grade. I was singing "Strangers by Day, Lovers by Night." Grandma very quietly and gently suggested that I might not want to sing that song. I asked why. She didn't say why. I didn't have a clue about the meaning of the song (as she was interpreting the words I was singing). Click on the picture to hear the song by the Fleetwoods

Back to summer 2011 - Lauren, Joe, and I talked about our favorite music. I wrote in my journal, "[Granddaughter] didn't know what to think about Grandpa's high school favorite, "Wild Goose." Click on the image to hear Frankie Laine sing this 1950 hit. Lyrics here

This summer two granddaughters were staying with us. Joe played "The Cry of the Wild Goose" for them. They didn't know what to think of it either. 

We often have music playing throughout the day. It's usually classical music during the day. Lately we've been listening to music from the 1960s, "Golden Oldies," as we wind down our day. We find it very soothing - and I still recall most of the words to most of the songs. In fact, I'm very surprised when I correctly guess the song after just a few opening notes. That music has stayed with me forever. 

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Click here for more about the Wild Goose song

Functional Not Artistic

I admire people who know how to make the ordinary look special. That's not one of my talents. By nature I tend towards the practical, not artistic and not very creative. 

I remember some of Mom's comments when she took time to garnish a Thanksgiving turkey. This usually consisted of sprigs of parsley. Mom would say that's as close to Martha Stewart as she got.  Mom would sometimes put a centerpiece in the middle of the holiday table, make sure everyone had a chance to admire it, and then take it away to make more space for food!

Very talented women have tried to tutor me on how to dress up a table or food. One time I was having a problem catching the vision from a "sweet young thing" (as Dad would say). She whipped out her phone, pulled something up on Pinterest, and said, "Make it look like this!"  Creative flair I don't have but I do know how to follow instructions. 

All this came to my mind the other day when I was cutting up fruit to take to a brunch. I was just going to toss it into the bowl when several of my mentors came into my mind with suggestions for making it look a bit nicer. So I put the pineapple in the middle and arranged the strawberries around the side. I plopped the strawberry in the middle in memory of Mom. 

I know this isn't height of creativity, but it did bring some fun memories to my heart and mind as I was getting ready to spend time with friends (one of whom is uber-creative!).

Mom's Example

Mom was a great note writer. After her death a number of people commented on how much her notes meant to them. At some point in my adult life I decided I wanted to follow her example. It's been a wonderful experience. 

I make notecards from photos I've taken. I enjoy sharing favorite images with family and friends. I enjoy sharing thoughts of gratitude, thinking of you, hope you're feeling better, I'm sorry, or whatever else comes into my heart or head to share. 

Thanks Mom for your example!

December 1982

Wonderful & Magical

We love our community. We've said this often. Every once in a while we're out and about and EVERYTHING IS JUST RIGHT. And we REALLY love our little community. This was one of those days.

We walked down to the park on the lake at the end of our street. The picture doesn't capture the light but it was one of those Northwest days in which everything just sparkled. There's something about the light that's amazing on days like this. It was a Wednesday, time for the farmers market. The park was filled with people and pets and wonderful produce and crafts. People, boats, and ducks were in the water. A man in a tie dye shirt was playing some sort of xylophone. It was all pretty wonderful and magical. 

Spirit-directed Women

Neill Marriott spoke of "spirit-directed women who use their unique gifts to nurture, to speak up, and to defend gospel truth." 

"The Lord has laid high responsibilities upon us." Eliza R. Snow made this comment when the church's women's organization, Relief Society, was founded. Marriott said, "Our high responsibility is to become women who follow the Savior, nurture with inspiration, and live truth fearlessly." 

The world is often not supportive of those who are trying to live Christ-centered lives. Neill Marriott counseled, "Being distinct and different from the world will draw some criticism, but we must anchor ourselves to eternal principles and testify of them, no matter the world's response." 

Read the talk here

Sun & Son

The sun was out in all its glory Sunday morning. 

I wonder how many people murmured about attending church on a day like this. Some may even have skipped church to play in the sun.

The best day of the week is the day we worship the Son no matter what's going on with the sun. 

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Click here for another post about the sun and the Son 

Sun image from pixabay

Critter

At North Street we had a number of experiences with critters. I came across these photos recently. We described the adventure in our July 31, 2007 letter to our children.

"Throughout the evening we heard knocking sounds periodically. Joe looked around outside but couldn’t determine the source. It’s often difficult to determine the source of sounds because of the way sound bounces around in our backyards. We figured the sound came from kids playing in the office parking lot or our neighbors. When I finally got to bed about midnight, I could still hear the sounds. Suddenly it came to me, “check the garage”. I got up, armed myself with a flashlight and went outside. I kicked the garage door (we don’t have an automatic opener) in case there was a critter, human or otherwise, inside. I pulled open the door and looked inside. I was greeted by huge piles of dirt on either side of the door. It was clear an animal, probably our mystery animal/ground hog, had been trying to get out. I left the door open and went back to bed. The next morning we went out to assess the damage. 

The animal had chewed through the rope on the door. It chewed half of the rubber seal on the bottom of the door. [photo below shows the door raised & the rubber seal chewed off]

One hole extended at least two feet under the paver driveway and the hole on the other side went more than a foot and a half. The piles of dirt were 2-3 feet long and 6+inches deep in the deepest part. That had to have been one tired ground hog! We’re assuming it was the ground hog. 

We tamped as much of the dirt as we could back into the holes. We don’t want our driveway to collapse! We were amazed at how much of the dirt didn’t “fit” back into the holes. Several hours later we opened the garage door to show [our neighbor] where the damage had been done. Imagine our surprise when we saw that both holes had been dug out again! The ground hog must have been trapped in the garage again. Later in the day Joe was getting bricks from the narrow space where we keep the garbage cans. The ground hog ran past him and brushed his leg!"

We captured the groundhog below a year later. We don't know if it was the same one that dug up our garage or not. Neighbor Scott Chauvin took it down by the Olentangy River and released it. 

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added August 15, 2016 - The floor of the garage was asphalt on top of dirt. 

Celia Voted Most Dignified

Celia Cathcart graduated from Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois in 1915

140 of the 183 senior class members returned surveys in which they voted on people who were "best" in a number of areas. Categories included sports, professor, class “peach,” “biggest bluffer,” best-looking woman (and man), best-dressed woman (and man), “typical college woman,” (and man).

According to this article in the college newspaper, “A majority of the class voted Celia Cathcart the most dignified member.”

photo - Celia Cathcart 1918, this might be her engagement/wedding portrait

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Note - Celia Cathcart and Florence Clark were friends at Northwestern and were in the same graduating class. After Celia and Caryl Holton married, Florence visited the family in London. Dad and his brothers called her Aunt Toots. When Celia died and Caryl and Florence married, they continued to call her Aunt Toots or just Toots. 

In Daily Northwestern, Evanston, Illinois [Northwestern University], May 21, 1915; page 4, column 2; source genealogybank.com

Book - Tuesdays With Morrie

Tuesdays with Morrie

by Mitch Albom 

"Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher. Someone older who understood you when you were young and searching, who helped you see the world as a more profound place, and gave you advice to help you make your way through it. For Mitch Albom, that person was Morrie Schwartz, his college professor from nearly twenty years ago. Maybe, like Mitch, you lost track of your mentor as you made your way, and the insights faded, and the world seemed colder. Wouldn't you like to see that person again, ask the bigger questions that still haunt you? Mitch Albom had that second chance. He rediscovered Morrie in the last months of the older man's life. Knowing he was dying, Morrie visited with Mitch in his study every Tuesday, just as they used to back in college. Tuesdays With Morrie is a magical chronicle of their time together, through which Mitch shares Morrie's lasting gift to the world." --From the publisher. (image & summary from worldcat.org)

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Several people have recommended this book recently. I read many reviews in which people said the book is shallow with one person saying it's like a collection of greeting cards. Others commented it's the most inspiring and profound book they've ever read. 

The author and Morrie don't discuss God, but I found that most of Morrie's observations are rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I think that's why this book and Morrie have resonated with many readers.

Morrie determined long before he got sick to create a culture around himself that made him and others feel good about themselves. “Morrie ... had developed his own culture – long before he got sick. Discussion groups, walks with friends, dancing to his music … He took more time eating and looking at nature ... He had created a cocoon of human activities – conversation, interaction, affection – and it filled his life like an overflowing soup bowl.”

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

Author Albom looking at Morrie & seeing how ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) has affected his body – “The disease owns him.” 

  

“Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.” 

Morrie commented that most people just don't realize how "important" marriage is. 

"...the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness. We don’t see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become.” jht - We are children of God. Our divine heritage gives us unlimited potential.

Ted Koppel interviewed Morrie for television several times. During their last interview, Morrie says, “Ted, this disease is knocking at my spirit. But it will not get my spirit. It’ll get my body. It will not get my spirit.” (italics in original) jht - Our spirits will continue into the next life. 

Morrie – “Death ends a life, not a relationship.” jht - We would add to this, death ends life here on earth, then there is life on the other side. Relationships can continue on the other side. 

jht - I am reminded that time, attention, and focus (no multitasking) are gifts we give each other, any time, but especially when a person's body is greatly affected by age or disease. 

SaveSave

Trust in the Lord

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."  Proverbs 3: 5

This phrase has gone through my heart and mind often the last few weeks. It usually comes when I'm wondering how something is going to work out or how I should handle a situation. It comes when I'm "leaning to [my] own understanding," when I'm trying to figure something out and don't see a viable solution. 

Most of the time, the Lord sends someone or something to address the situation. Sometimes it's right away, other time's it's not so quickly. It's happened often enough that I'm learning what it means to trust in the Lord. 

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When I looked up the scripture to write this post, I was struck by the phrase "with all thine heart." I'd forgotten that was part of the scripture. "With ALL thine heart." 

"Trust in the Lord" appears in many scriptures. Click here to see a few of them. 

Tents & Risks & Following the Lord

 Can you tell I'm going through my electronic pile of draft posts? Some of them seem to be worth posting now even though they've been sitting around for years!

Written Summer of 2012 - We've been in our new home in Kirkland, Washington for about 16 months. It's been a good move for us. We love the people and the area. However, our Ohio and Michigan friends and family are deeply missed. A huge part of the decision to move was the feeling that this is where the Lord wanted us to be at this point in our lives.

Picking up and moving our home across the country was a decision full of risks. In many ways that decision didn't make sense. To move or not to move - that was the basis of many, many discussions. We are glad we decided yes. We probably would have regretted it if we'd had the feeling but didn't act on it because we let the risks on the "con" list outweigh the risk of regret.

Heather Farrell wrote about tents, homes, and roots here. Her thoughts struck a cord with me. She and her husband were contemplating a major change in their lives, and a move. It was making her feel "topsy turvy." Farrell turned to the scriptures to learn from women who had to leave their homes, move their tents, into the unknown. She wanted to have the kind of faith they had.

Farrell said she was "feeling a bit like I imagine Sarah felt when she and Abraham left their home in Haran to go into the wilderness of Canaan, to".. the land that I will shew thee" (Genesis 12:1)." As I re-read the story of Lehi and Sariah leaving Jerusalem I was really struck by this verse in 1 Nephi 2:15 in which Nephi simply states, "And my father dwelt in a tent." This verse is often used light heartily as the shortest verse in the Book of Mormon, yet this one little verse is packed full of meaning.  It indicates that Nephi and his family had finally made a choice. They had officially given up their affluent, city dwelling, stable life style for the difficultly and uncertainty of being guided by the Lord in the desert. That couldn't have been an easy to choice to make, or an easy road to follow. Yet look at the incredible things that came as a result of that one choice!"

She continues: "I think what I am coming to learn, slowly, is that the Lord expects each of us to "dwell in a tent", in a figurative way.  Even though ancient peoples often pitched their tents for long periods of time, tents (unlike houses) are not permanent structures and can (and were) taken down in order to move on to a richer part of land, escape conflict, or simply because the Lord commanded it. Today those who"dwell in a tent" are those whose hearts are open to the Lord and are are willing to go where He wants them to go-- instead of being tied down by their houses, their riches, or their desire for comfort. To  truly be an instrument in the hands of the Lord, like Sarah and Abraham or Lehi and Sariah, we must be willing to leave everything behind  if it is required of us and go where the Lord directs."

Following the Lord's direction always brings blessings. Those blessings sometimes are immediately apparent. Other times, it takes a while to understand the whys and see the blessings."

Summer of 2016 - After the above I have a few phrases and thoughts that weren't fully developed. I can tell I wasn't sure if I wanted to further talk about risks and/or following the Lord's counsel when it involves a change as large as this one was.

Moving forward with faith in Christ. That's what we did. That's what we continue to do. We feel even more strongly than we did five years ago that this is where we are supposed to be. The timing for our move was probably just right.

Visit With Grandparents

June 1953 - visiting my Mom's parents, Gram & Poppie (Mildred & Harry Floyd), in Arlington Heights, Illinois. I remember a number of train rides from London to see Gram and Poppie. I wonder if we took the train on this trip? There's a picture of us at the Arlington Heights train station from another visit. 

Poppie isn't in any of the pictures from this visit. 

Was he away working or just camera shy?

A Patient Voice

Back in the summer of 2011 I wrote - "A patient voice - that’s what I told the Apple tech person the other day as he spent an hour or so with us on the phone. I’ve thought about that often since I thanked him. I know I don’t always have a patient voice. I know my voice too often shows impatience. I need to do much better with this. I want people to remember me, and my voice/words, as patient and loving. Everyone, especially family, should always hear my most loving and most patient voice."

Present day - summer of 2016 - It's interesting to read this and reflect on whether or not I've made any progress. I've made a concerted effort to tune into the feelings in my heart so I can recognize anything that isn't Christ-like - and then work on that part of my being. I've found it interesting to become more aware of my heart, what's there, and how that's reflected in my thoughts, words, and actions, and yes, my voice.